Where to start?

This blogging thing is an attempt to find my way out of the weeds, post-cancer. It's also because I am too lazy to try and write a book. Everyone thinks that you should be joyous after finishing cancer treatment. Believe me, I am very thankful BUT people neglected to tell me how lost you feel when you are no longer driven by survivor mode and you suddenly have to move on to this new normal. People wonder why you aren't what's-her-name in The Sound of Music, joyously twirling and singing on some mountain. Screw that noise. It's nothing close to reality. Plus, I am terrified of heights so you won't be seeing my ass on a mountain any time soon (unless there is a bar involved and then I will take a Xanax and close my eyes till we reach our booze-filled destination). But I digress. Back to that new normal stuff. For over a year, I got to be out of it. I had days off, napped all the time, blurred things with all the meds they gave me, just focused on powering through it. Don't get me wrong, I worked through chemo and didn't change much of my routine for the most part. But I was only half present. Now I have to be 100% present again and find some semblance of happy. I'm not saying I'm unhappy. I have many amazing moments where I stop and think "Just think of where you were at this time last year" and I smile because things are 1,000 times better. But I'm also not the me that I once was and I am striving to get as close to the old me as possible. As I mentioned before, I am lazy and a homebody so it was decided that blogging would be my new hobby. I can do it while I sit on my ass drinking wine and watching TV. Everyone wins. The wine makes me even wittier. Or at least that's what I tell myself. I will leave it up to you to form your own opinion on that matter. Sadly, I'm at work and stone cold sober so this post is just sort of an introduction and not very funny. Stick with me if you find me! More to come!

PS - When I found out I had cancer I kept saying "I have cancer, give me a puppy." Not one damn person produced a pooch. I still find that incredibly heartless...

PPS - I played Poker with Tarot cards once. 5 people died and Satan forgot the Doritos.

PPPS - You can follow me on Twitter @blacklakegirl