Waiting is a Bitch

I am back to being a teenage girl waiting for the phone to ring from a boy I like... But with a lot more pounds packed on and a boss crush instead of a boy crush. I am waiting to hear about an official offer for a new job. I am 99% sure that it's happening but I NEED the official offer before I lose my mind. For those of you who have never met me, I AM NOT A PATIENT PERSON. I am at Defcomm 5 Freakout, people. I'm a Stage 5 Clinger to my phone! I not only want this job, I NEED it. Refer to my Rut Roh post if you are wondering why I sound so insane. If I get this new job, the world will hear me screaming "FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!" I won't go into the nitty gritty of why I NEED this job so much but some of my readers already know the details. *coughhorriblecurrentworkingenvironmentcough*

Side Note: I cannot concentrate due to the waiting, so this blog is going to be rather scattered. To give you an idea of my state of mind I said "You can't draw a bleached asshole" before 8am. Then someone said that maybe you can and my mind exploded. Is a whiteboard really just a big, square bleached asshole?????????? I think I need to be sedated...

So, back to the job. It is technically a lateral move within my current company (because we were recently acquired) but it would be a new boss and new location closer to home. I need a change of scenery. To say that my current location has a lot of ghosts would be an understatement. I need a fresh start like I need wine. And maybe air.

Side Note: I bet wine would sedate me at some point. I might have Tourette's. I just said "That whore bitch has no right commenting on your body. I will shank her." before 9am. Waiting Brook is NOT pretty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need some horse tranquilizers or someone to sew my mouth shut.

Screw it. This blog is done before I further incriminate myself. I am going to go stare at my phone and try to keep my crazy thoughts in my head. It is now 9am and the day has already gone down the rabbit hole. See you on the other side.

Side Note: We just decided that the marker people need to make a color called "anal bleaching" to aid us in drawing an illustration because Wikipedia took down their awesome picture and anal bleaching has gotten much harder to explain.

To end on a happy note, here is the ponytail I achieved this past weekend. I have only been waiting since July 2013 for it. Suck it, cancer and chemo!

 

UPDATE:

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the manager decided that with my experience that it shouldn't be a lateral move so I am officially a SENIOR tech writer!!!!!!!!!!!!