Okay, so it's not really anywhere near the worst of times. I love my new job and the team, while I don't know them super well, seem great. I think the problem is that this is my first "normal" week where there isn't training or meetings or admin stuff to get all the tools I need to do my job. And the environment here is completely different from my last job. I am not micromanaged and that is awesome! But I also feel a bit disoriented. I can think for myself? I'm allowed to run this project the way I see fit? As a good friend put it, it's like I just got out of an abusive relationship and I'm not sure how to act. The upshot to this is that I know I am up to the task. This whole week is taking the bull by the horns and "diving in". And that's exactly what I will do as soon as this Xanax kicks in! ;-)
I have been very lazy with this blog and I am sorry not to be coming back with a funnier topic but this is currently what is on my mind. I have been given a great opportunity and I will prove that they were right to hire me.
In other news, we lost our dog of 12 years. Jackson was the biggest lover that has ever existed and we miss him so much. He had a great life and spent his last moments being loved by us at home. But I miss him every second of every day. I miss him underfoot in the kitchen, trolling for dropped food. I miss him furiously drinking his water to signal that, dammit, it was time for his meal! It pained me to cook bacon this past weekend because he wasn't there to get some as a treat. I have never had a dog from puppy to death and sometimes I feel like a five year old just saying "I want my dog back!"
Another thing that I have been wanting to write a blog about. This one has been on my mind for a couple months but I have procrastinated because words will never be adequate to talk about this topic. Teri. My best friend and one of the most amazing humans who has ever existed passed away in September. It was a huge loss. But it has brought about one thing. A little belief in... something. I don't believe in much. Karma for sure and, after Teri, I believe in signs and possibly that she is watching over me. Right after she passed, I went to CostCo, only to find it closed until 10am. So, I went to the only place nearby to grab breakfast - Gunther Toody's. I looked at the drink menu and decided to get something out of the norm for me - a bloody mary. When it was served it came with a shot of Coors Light! How random! But it made me smile and feel that she was there with me at that moment because Coors Light was the only thing she would drink. A sign! And then there was the time that I was stressed about work and waiting on a text and silently asking her to have my back and at the exact moment one of her favorite songs came on, I got a text message saying that everything at work was good to go and I was off the hook. Another sign! And I feel like Teri had a hand in getting me this new job. She, more than anyone, knew how much I needed to get out of my other situation (especially after her death). And, funnily, enough one of my new co-workers worked with Teri, knew her well, and had heard all about me and seems like a good, funny person that I can be friends with. Well done, Teri. Thank you for looking out for me.
So, there isn't much coherency to this blog. Just things that have been on my mind. Teri LOVED dogs. I hope Jackson and Teri have found each other in wherever we end up and that she is teaching him how to play Shark. And I am going to be the best darn tech writer this company has ever seen! I owe it to myself and to Teri.
RIP Teri. Thank you for EVERYTHING, especially gifting me with a little bit of believing.
RIP Jackson. I miss your stink.
No comments:
Post a Comment